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Moto-V.sg _ Sports, Hobbies & Interesting Stuff _ Light Up Your Day

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 2 2006, 08:41 PM

Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says, "If you behave like this, you will lose ALL your friends".

**********


Small Boy wrote to Santa Claus," send me a brother"
Santa wrote back," SEND ME YOUR MOTHER"

**********


What is the definition of Mistress?
Someone between the Mister and Mattress

**********


Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means ,
"With Idiot For Ever !!!"

**********


Three Feelings:
What's the difference between stress, tension and panic?
Stress is when wife is pregnant,
Tension is when girlfriend is pregnant, and
Panic is when both are pregnant.

**********


Teacher: u know the importance of period?
Kid: Ya, once my sister said she has missed one, my mom fainted, dad got heart attack & our driver ran away.

**********


Women asked man who is traveling with six children, all these kids are urs
???
No, I work in a condom factory & these are customer complaints.

**********


Sons asks difference between confidence and confidential
Dad says, you are my son, i'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!

**********


Mother to her teenage daughter: I think this is the right time we should talk about sex.
Daughter (Excitingly) : Sure mom, tell me what do you want to know.
Mother Faints... --

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 2 2006, 08:45 PM

Do you know why girls don't keep thier mobiles in shirt pocket?
B'coz can't get signals near hills & mountains


BOYS PLEDGE:
America is our nation,
Girls are our destination,
Flirting is our Profession,
Dating is our Occupation,
to hell with our Education.


GIRLS POLICY:
Fraud with innocent boys;
Fun with Handsome boys;
Friendship with Smart boys;
Love with Faithful boys;
Marriage with Rich boys.


A girl and boy sitting alone. The boy started touching the girl.
GIRL: Don't touch me, all this only after marriage...
BOY: OK, call me when you are married.

A boy from third class asked his teacher, can a girl of my age have babies?
She said, "What? NEVER"
Boy told the girl sitting next, "See, I told you not to worry"

Posted by: Denden Nov 3 2006, 01:18 AM

QUOTE (JKFAZER @ Nov 2 2006, 08:41 PM)
Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means ,
"With Idiot For Ever !!!"

**********


Oh!!! that's new.... all along I thought it stands for Wash, Iron, f**k Etc.. drunk.gif

Posted by: saintdudu Nov 4 2006, 07:19 PM

http://www.flurl.com/item/japp_u_199173

Posted by: saintdudu Nov 4 2006, 10:35 PM

http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1162533601/Showoff

Posted by: saintdudu Nov 4 2006, 10:39 PM

http://www.dumpalink.com/media/1162526217/Kids_in_bubbles

Guys.. i think someone will love this.. :P

Posted by: eazie Nov 4 2006, 10:58 PM

Ah Du ah........
Exam over now u very free liao....ah.
Great joke Hahaha... Heheheh.... Kekekek......


Posted by: saintdudu Nov 4 2006, 11:58 PM

QUOTE (eazie @ Nov 4 2006, 10:58 PM)
Ah Du ah........
Exam over now u very free liao....ah.
Great joke Hahaha... Heheheh.... Kekekek......

yeap.. i happy must share with all mah.... :)

Posted by: shebiker Nov 5 2006, 09:59 AM

QUOTE (saintdudu @ Nov 4 2006, 03:58 PM)
QUOTE (eazie @ Nov 4 2006, 10:58 PM)
Ah Du ah........
Exam over now u very free liao....ah.
Great joke Hahaha... Heheheh.... Kekekek......

yeap.. i happy must share with all mah.... :)

yeah... I agree he very very eng now... hahaha

and yes... I love that game...but too expensive for my pocket unless U are paying for it.... it's cheaper to let him loose in a playground... hahahaha 021.gif

Posted by: spectrum Nov 6 2006, 11:31 PM

Berri Funny...
clap.gif hahaha-1.gif clap.gif hahaha-1.gif clap.gif

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 6 2006, 11:42 PM

One day, two Ah Lians got into a lift from the 20th storey of a building and
wanted to get down to the ground floor.

As they looked at the dial , they could see the number 20 down to number 2. It was then followed by a G.

As they were not English-educated, they were puzzled and really had no idea
what does the letter G mean.

Suddenly one of them exclaimed excitedly and
hit G.

When they finally reached the ground floor, the other Ah Lian was so
impressed and asked the first Ah Lian, "Wow, how you know one?"

The first Ah Lian reply smugly, "Easy lah.. G for Gero mah..."


Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 6 2006, 11:45 PM

Long time ago in the western part of
Malaysia, a rich tycoon wanted to
know how happy a man can be if you
can give him one wish . After many
advices from his "Kay-Po" friends, he
decided to select 3 people to test out
his experiment.

The rules are :

1.The person can only have 1 wish.
2.The person will be put on a
deserted island for 30 years.
3.They have to come back after
the experiment to tell the world
about their experiences.
4.Food (not liquor) will be provided.

After shortlisting 3 person from a
possible pool of 3,000,000 ; they
were given a press conference to say
what they want to bring along to the
island for 30 years.

Contestant #1 : Billy Klinton (USA)

"I want to have the 30 prettiest
PLAYBOY centrefold girls so that I
can make the most beautiful babies in
the world"
p/s : PLAYBOY is the magazine where
beautiful women have no money to buy clothes.

Contestant #2 : Jon Mayjor (UK)

"I want to have 30 years supplies of
Booze" p/s : Booze is liquor

Contestant #3 : Ah Beng (SGP)

"I want Saa-Lim (Salim in English)
Cigarettes. 30 years supplies so I can
smoke until I song"
p/s : Salim is the green packet
cigarette cost 11.50 per pack

30 long years later, the 3 heros came
back from their long adventure.

The world is eager to hear what the 3
men have to say .......

1.Billy was at the press conference
with close to 200 children and
30 estranged women. His first
remark to the press : "It has
been a long sexual experience for
me and I am just wondering
whether anyone care to buy a
child. I will even throw in the
Mother for Free".

2.Jon was still suffering from the
hangovers of the booze he had
the night before BUT managed to
muster enough effort to shout
"God save the BEER. The Queen
can drink the seawater".

3.Surprisingly, Ah Beng brought
back all his cigarette and on
first sight of the people, his
first remarks were

" $%^*#?x!! (Very vulgar Hokkien Words)
Buay Kee Tua lighter leh !!
(Forget my lighter in English) "


Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 6 2006, 11:46 PM

Her husband has been slipping in and out of a coma for
several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single
day.

When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he said, "You know what? You have
been with me all through the bad times.

When I got fired,you were there to support me.
When my business failed, you were there.
When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you gave me support.
When my health started failing, you were still by my side.
When I think about it now, I think you bring me bad luck!"

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 7 2006, 12:44 AM

3 mice were sitting at a bar talking about
how tough they were.

The first mouse slams a shot and says,
"I play with mouse traps for fun.
I'll run into one on purpose and as
it is closing on me, I grab the bar
and bench press it 20 or 30 times." And,
with that, he slams another shot.

The second mouse slams a shot and says,
"That's nothing. I take those poison bait
tablets, cut them up, and snort them, just for
the fun of it." And, with that, he slams another shot.

The third mouse slams a shot, gets up, and walks away.
The first two mice look at each other,
then turn to the third mouse and ask,
"Where the hell are you going?"

The third mouse stops and replies,
"I'm going home to f**k the cat."

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 7 2006, 01:07 AM

Stanley Livingston, in deepest Africa, finds a cannibal restaurant. The specialty of the day is brains - fried doctor brains for twenty bucks, sauteed architect brains for twenty-five bucks, and roasted attorney brains for two hundred bucks. Livingston, perplexed, asks the waiter why the attorney brains are so costly. The waiter snorts, "Do you know what a job it is to clean those suckers?"

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 7 2006, 01:17 AM

Check this out...

Once upon a time there was a nice young man called Karim. He used
tos ell caps for a living, and roam around several villages. One day he
would be in Mughalsarai, the other day people would find him in Faizabad.

It was an afternoon in summer and he was traversing the vast plains
when he felt tired and wanted to have a nap. He found a nice mango
tree with lots of branches and cool shade, placed his bag of caps
beside him and went to sleep.

Tired as he was, he was quickly fast asleep. When he woke up after
a refreshing little nap, he found that there weren't any caps in his
bag! "Oh, Allah!", he said to himself, "Did the thieves have to find me of all
people?" But then he noticed that the mango tree was full of cute
monkeys wearing colourful caps!

He yelled at the monkeys and they screamed back. He made faces at
them and found the monkeys to be experts at that. He threw a stone at
them and they showered him with raw mangoes.

"Ya Allah, how do I get my caps back," he said. Frustrated, he took
off his own cap and slammed it on the ground. And lo, the stupid
monkeys threw their caps too! Smart Karim didn't waste a second,
collected the caps and was on his way.


50 Years later ....

Young Abdul, grandson of famous topiwala Karim who was also
working hard at making $$$ doing his family business, was going through the
same jungle. After a long walk he was very tired and found a nice
mango tree with lots of branches and cool shade. Abdul decided to
rest a while and very soon was fast asleep. A few hours later, when
Abdul woke up, he realised that all the caps from his bag were gone!
Abdul started searching for the same and to his surprise found some
monkeys sitting on mango tree wearing his caps. Abdul was
frustrated and didn't know what to do. And then he remembered a story his
grandfathers proudly used to let him.

"Yes!!!! I can fool these monkeys!!!", said Abdul. "I'll make them
imitate me and very soon I'll get all my caps back!"

Abdul waved at the monkeys -- the Monkeys waved at Abdul
Abdul blew his nose -- the Monkeys blew their noses
Abdul started dancing -- the Monkeys were also dancing
Abdul pulled his ears -- the Monkeys pulled their ears
Abdul raised his hands -- the Monkeys raised their hands
Abdul threw his cap on the ground ............
........ one of the monkeys jumped down from the tree, picked the
cap, walked upto Abdul; slapped him and said "Idiot!!! Do you think
ONLY YOU HAVE A GRANDFATHER?????"


Posted by: smokin Nov 8 2006, 03:34 AM

Men are Happier!

Men are just simply happier people, and here is why...
Your last name stays put.
The garage is all yours.
Wedding plans take care of themselves.
Chocolate is just another snack.
You can be President. You can never be pregnant.
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park.
Car Mechanics tell you the truth.
The world is your urinal.
You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
Same work, more pay.
Wrinkles add character.
Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
People never stare at your chest when you are talking to them.
The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
One mood all the time.
Phone conservations are over in 30 seconds flat.
You know stuff about tanks.
A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.
You can open all of your own jars.
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
You never have strap problems in public.
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
Everything on your face stays its original color.
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe even decades.
You only have to shave your face and neck.
You can play with toys all your life.
Your belly usually hides your big hips.
One wallet and one pair of shoes one color for all seasons.
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
You can "do" your nails with a pocket knife.
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.
No wonder men are happier!

nana-1.gif

Posted by: Denden Nov 8 2006, 10:19 AM

QUOTE (smokin @ Nov 8 2006, 03:34 AM)
The world is your urinal.




That's my favourite... somehow marking territories has got a sense of fulfilment... nana-1.gif

Posted by: AC_Devil64 Nov 14 2006, 11:56 PM

.. Hope this can release your stress away. Have a nice day ahead ....

One day, siew pau and maggi mee had a big fight. Maggi mee beat siew
pau up until it had bruises on its pau body.

Siew Pau loose in the fight and went back to tell all the paus family;

kaya pau, tau SA pau, curry pau, and etc.

So together?.. all paus went to find maggi mee for revenge.

On the way... they met Spaghetti?.. . so all pau ran to Spaghetti and
BEAT
the hell up on Spaghetti that Spaghetti can't say a word,Spaghetti
then
scream...

"WHAT DID I DO? I don't even know you all"???.

Then the siew pau say??..

"HEH! MAGGI MEE! Don't think I can't recognize you after you do
REBONDING!"

Posted by: orangefazer Nov 19 2006, 03:04 PM

An exchange of faxes between a loving & understanding couple ....

Fax from Husband to Wife...

Dear Wife,

You will sure understand that I have certain needs that you with your 54 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife.
Therefore after reading this fax, you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.
Please don't be perturbed.
I shall be back home before midnight.

Honestly,
Your Husband.X


Reply by the wife:

My Dear Husband,
I received your fax and thank you for your honesty. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. At the same time I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael my tennis coach, who, like your secretary, is also 18-years old.
As a successful businessman with your excellent knowledge of math's, you will understand that we are in a same situation, although with one small difference.

18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be back before lunchtime tomorrow!
Your Dear Wife XX

Posted by: AC_Devil64 Nov 20 2006, 04:56 PM

Subject: PUB meter reading


A young husband comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck: "Darling, I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, a guy from the PUB rings the door-bell, because the young couple hasn't paid their last bill:

"Are you Mrs. TAN ? You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the man ( METER READER )
"What are you saying? It's in your files?????"
"Absolutely. "
"Well, let me talk to my husband about this tonight."

That night, she tells her husband about the visit, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to the PUB offices the first thing the next morning.

"What's going on here? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.

"Just calm down," says the clerk, "it's nothing serious.
All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? and if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."


Posted by: SV650 Nov 21 2006, 10:00 PM

Good one thumbsup.gif

Posted by: AC_Devil64 Nov 24 2006, 03:05 PM

A lady walked into a Lexus dealership just to browse. Suddenly she
spotted the most beautiful car that she had ever seen and walked over
to inspect it.

As she bent forward to feel the fine leather upholstery, an unexpected
little fart escaped her.

Embarrassed, she anxiously looked around to see if anyone had noticed
and hoped a sales person didn't pop up right now. But, as she turned
back, there, standing next to her, is a salesman.

With a pleasant smile he greeted her, "Good day, Madame. How may we
help you today?"

Trying to maintain an air of sophistication and acting as though
nothing had happened, she smiles back and asked, "Sir, what is the
price of this lovely vehicle?"

Still smiling pleasantly, he replied, "Madame, I'm very sorry to say
that if you farted just by touching it, you are going to shit when you
hear the price."

Posted by: AC_Devil64 Nov 25 2006, 02:33 PM

I was walking through the supermarket to pick up a few things when I noticed an old lady following me around. Thinking nothing of it, I ignored her and continued on. Finally I went to the checkout line, but she got in front of me.

"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfortable. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently." "I'm very sorry," I said to her, "Is there anything I can do for you?"

"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mom?' It would make me feel so much better." "Sure," I said. An odd request, but no harm would come of it.
As the old woman was leaving, I called out, "Good Bye, Mom!"

As I stepped up to the checkout counter, I saw that my total was $1027.50.
"How can that be?" I asked, "I only purchased a few things!" "Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.


Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 28 2006, 01:29 AM

The 1st Affair:

A married man was having an affair with his secretary.

One day they went her place and made love all afternoon. Exhausted,
they
fell asleep and woke up at 8 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his lover to take his shoes outside
and
rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his shoes and drove home.

"Where have you been?" his wife demanded.

"I can't lie to you," he replied, "I'm having an affair with my
secretary.
We had sex all afternoon."

"You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!"

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 28 2006, 01:30 AM

The 2nd Affair:

A middle-aged couple had two beautiful daughters but always talked
about
having a son. They decided to try one last time for the son they always
wanted.

The wife got pregnant and delivered a healthy baby boy.

The joyful father rushed to the nursery to see his new son. He was
horrified at the ugliest child he had ever seen.

He told his wife, "There's no way I can be the father of this baby.
Look
at the two beautiful daughters I fathered! Have you been fooling around
behind my back?"

The wife smiled sweetly and replied, "Not this time!"

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 28 2006, 01:30 AM

The 3rd Affair:

A mortician was working late one night. He examined the body of Mr.
Schwartz, about to be cremated, and made a startling discovery.
Schwartz
had the largest private part he had ever seen!

"I'm sorry Mr. Schwartz," the mortician commented, "I can't allow you
to
be cremated with such an impressive private part. It must be saved for
posterity."

So, he removed it, stuffed it into his briefcase, and took it home.

"I have to show you something you won't believe," he said to his wife,
opening his briefcase.

"My God!" the wife exclaimed, "Schwartz is dead?!?!"

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 28 2006, 01:31 AM

The 4th Affair:

A woman was in bed with her lover when she heard her husband opening
the
front door.

"Hurry," she said, "stand in the corner."

She rubbed baby oil all over him, then dusted him with talcum powder.

"Don't move until I tell you," she said. "Pretend you're a statue."

"What's this?" the husband inquired as he entered the room.

"Oh it's a statue." she replied."The Smith's bought one and I liked it
so
much I got one for us, too."

No more was said, not even when they went to bed.

Around 2 AM the husband got up, went to the kitchen and returned with a
sandwich and a beer.

"Here," he said to the statue, "have this. I stood like that for two
days
at the Smith's and nobody offered me a damned thing."

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 28 2006, 01:31 AM

The 5th Affair:

A man walked into a cafe, went to the bar and ordered a beer.

"Certainly, Sir, that'll be one cent."

"One Cent?" the man thought. He glanced at the menu and asked, "How
much
for a nice juicy steak and a bottle of wine?"

"A nickel," the barman replied.

"A nickel?" exclaimed the man. "Where's the guy who owns this place?"

The bartender replied, "Upstairs, with my wife."

The man asked, "What's he doing upstairs with your wife?"

The bartender replied, "The same thing I'm doing to his business down
here."

Posted by: JKFAZER Nov 28 2006, 01:31 AM

The 6th Affair:

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.

He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."

"There's no need to," his wife replied.

"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister,
your
best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"

"I know, I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."

Posted by: Denden Nov 28 2006, 01:34 AM

crackup-1.gif crackup-1.gif crackup-1.gif the 5th one is beautiful....

Posted by: spectrum Nov 28 2006, 01:55 AM

U did it again... ha ha hee hee ha haa..... Bring the House Down... icon-bounce.gif icon-bouncefire.gif icon-cheerleade.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Nov 28 2006, 01:47 PM

user posted image

Who's game enough for the new CAB.... Gurantee u from Jurong to Airport in 15min flat!!!

Posted by: anodise57 Nov 28 2006, 01:48 PM

user posted image
Uncut version of LOTR...... enjoy!!!

Posted by: Denden Nov 30 2006, 04:26 AM

so sweet....sssh.gif

Morning Poem


I woke early one morning,
The earth lay cool and still
When suddenly a tiny bird
Perched on my window sill,
He sang a song so lovely
So carefree and so gay,
That slowly all my troubles
Began to slip away.
He sang of far off places
Of laughter and of fun,
It seemed his very trilling,
brought up the morning sun.
I stirred beneath the covers
Crept slowly out of bed,
Then gently shut the window
And crushed his f**king head.
I'm not a morning person

Posted by: anodise57 Nov 30 2006, 04:21 PM

Awwww .... .tats gross.... DENDEN...... u are 1 farked up GAY man.. hahahaha

Posted by: Denden Nov 30 2006, 06:33 PM

QUOTE (anodise57 @ Nov 30 2006, 04:21 PM)
Awwww .... .tats gross.... DENDEN...... u are 1 farked up GAY man.. hahahaha

What?!!!! icon-giddy.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Dec 1 2006, 11:54 AM

user posted image

How's this???

Posted by: AC_Devil64 Dec 1 2006, 02:20 PM

Subject: Joke of the day......

Youngest Son: "Tell me Daddy, what is the difference between
"Potentiality" and "Reality"?"
Dad: "I will show you"
Dad turns to his wife and asks her: "Would you sleep with Robert Redford
for 1 million dollars"?
Wife: "Yes of course! I would never waste such an opportunity"...
Then Dad asks his daughter, if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for 1
million dollars?
Daughter:" Wow! Yes! he is my fantasy!"
So Dad turns to his elder son and asks him: "Would you sleep with Tom
Cruise for 1 million dollars"?
Elder Son: "Yeah! Why not? Imagine what I could do with 1 million
Dollars! I would never hesitate!"
So the father turns back to his younger son saying: "You see son,
"Potentially" we are sitting on 3 million dollars, but in "Reality" we
are living with 2 prostitutes and 1 gay.

Posted by: Denden Dec 4 2006, 08:58 PM

user posted image

Posted by: Denden Dec 7 2006, 03:01 AM

Read the message below BEFORE looking at the image.

Find the man between the coffee beans. Doctors have concluded that if you find the man in 3 seconds that your right half of your brain is better developed than most people. If you find the man between 3 seconds and one minute, then your right half of the brain is developed normally. If you find the man between one minute and 3 minutes, then the right half of your brain is functioning slowly and you need to eat more protein. If you have not found the man after & 3 minutes your right half of your brain is a mess, and the only advice is to look more for these types of exercises to make that part of the brain stronger.

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user posted image

p.s. I wonder whether there's any truth to it...

Posted by: AC_Devil64 Dec 15 2006, 02:23 AM

The beauty of BUDGET AIRLINES

Attendant: Welcome aboard Ala Carte Air, Sir. May I see your ticket?
Passenger: Sure.
Attendant: You're in seat 12B. That will be $5, please!
Passenger: What for?
Attendant: For telling you where to sit.
Passenger: But I already knew where to sit.
Attendant: Nevertheless, we are now charging a seat-locator fee of $5. It's the airline's new policy.
Passenger: That's the craziest thing I ever heard. I won't pay it.
Attendant: Sir, do you want a seat on this flight, or not?
Passenger: Yes, yes. All right, I'll pay. But the airline is going to hear about this.

Attendant: Thank you. My goodness, your carry-on bag looks heavy. Would you like me to stow it in the overhead compartment for you?
Passenger: That would be great, thanks.
Attendant: No problem (grunts). Up we go, and done! That will be $10, please.
Passenger: What?
Attendant: The airline now charges a $10 carry-on assistance fee.
Passenger: This is extortion. I won't stand for it.

Attendant: Actually, you're right - you can't stand. You need to sit, and fasten your seat belt. We're about to push back from the gate. But first I need that $10.
Passenger: No way.
Attendant: Sir, if you don 't comply, I will be forced to call the air marshal. And you really don't want me to do that.
Passenger: Why not? Is he going to shoot me?
Attendant: No, but there's a $50 air-marshal hailing fee.
Passenger: Oh, all right, here - take the $10. I can't believe this.

Attendant: Thank you for your cooperation, sir. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Passenger: Yes. It's stuffy in here, and my overhead fan doesn't seem to work. Can you fix it?
Attendant: Your overhead fan is not broken, sir. Just insert two quarters into the overhead coin slot for the first five minutes.
Passenger: The airline is charging me for cabin air?
Attendant: Of course not, sir. Stagnant cabin air is provided free of charge. It's the circulating air that costs 50 cents.

Passenger: I don't have any quarters. Can you make change for a dollar?
Attendant: Certainly, sir! Here you go!
Passenger: But you've given me only three quarters for my dollar.
Attendant: Yes, there's a change-making fee of 25 cents.

Passenger: For cryin' out loud. All I have left is a lousy quarter? Whatever will I do with it?
Attendant: Hang onto it. You'll need it later for the lavatory.

Posted by: AC_Devil64 Dec 15 2006, 11:46 PM

Subject: Double Dose

A man went to the doctor's office to get a double dose of viagra.
The doctor told him that he couldn't allow him a double dose.

"Why not?" asked the man.

"Because it's not safe," replied the doctor.

"But I need it really bad," said the man.

"Well, why do you need it so badly?" ask the doctor.

The man said, "My girlfriend is coming into town on Friday; My ex-wife
will be here on Saturday; and my wife is coming home on Sunday. Can't
you see? I must have a double dose."

The doctor finally relented saying, "Okay, I'll give it to you, but you
have to come in on Monday morning so that I can check you to see if
there are any side effects."

On Monday, the man dragged himself in; his arm in a sling.
The doctor asked, "What happened to you?"





The man said, "NO one showed up."

Posted by: toto29 Dec 24 2006, 06:53 PM

story with road signs.

user posted image

Posted by: toto29 Jan 3 2007, 02:04 AM

Chinese wife and English Husband

There was a Chinese lady married to an English gentleman and they lived in
London . The poor lady was not very proficient in English, but managed
somehow to communicate with her husband.
The real problem arose whenever she had to shop for groceries. One day,
she went to the butcher and wanted to buy pork legs. She didn't know how to
put forward her request, and in desperation, lifted up her skirt to show
her thighs. The butcher got the message and the lady went home with pork
legs.
The next day, she needed to get chicken breasts.Again, she didn't know how
to say, and so she unbuttoned her blouse to show the butcher her breast.
The lady got what she wanted.
The third day, the poor lady needed to buy sausages.


She brought her husband to the store............. so what did she do?


































What were you thinking?! Her husband speaks english! icon-smile.gif

Posted by: SiaoSter Jan 3 2007, 09:08 AM

QUOTE (anodise57 @ Dec 1 2006, 11:54 AM)
user posted image

How's this???

lets wait till 2016 to see the results ! icon-cheerleade.gif

Posted by: SiaoSter Jan 3 2007, 09:21 AM

Jogging
It is well documented that for every mile that you jog, you add one minute to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month.

An American in England
An American visiting in England asked at the hotel for the elevator.

The portiere looked a bit confused but smiled when he realized what the man wanted.

"You must mean the lift," he said.

"No," the American responded. "If I ask for the elevator I mean the elevator."

"Well," the portiere answered, "over here we call them lifts".

"Now you listen", the American said rather irritated, "someone in America invented the elevator."

"Oh, right you are sir," the portiere said in a polite tone, "but someone here in England invented the language."



Normal People vs. Engineers
Normal people believe that if it isn't broke, don't fix it.

Engineers believe that if it isn't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet.



Top Secret Communications Center
When my son was in the Air Force, my wife and I visited quite often. On our first visit, we were allowed inside this top secret Communications Center, but everything in sight was covered up so we could look around everywhere -- Heck, even the toilet paper in the Men's room was disguised.

Anyway, at the exit, there's a sign above the door, which reads: "You have been exposed to Top Secret Material. Please destroy yourself before leaving the building."



Today's Fairy Tales
A young girl asked her father if all fairy tales begin with "Once Upon A Time?"

"No," he replied. "A whole lot of them begin with 'If elected, I promise...'"


A Lawyer Named Strange
A lawyer named Strange died, and his friend asked the tombstone maker to inscribe on his tombstone, "Here lies Strange, an honest man, and a lawyer."

The inscriber insisted that such an inscription would be confusing, for passersby would tend to think that three men were buried under the stone. However he suggested an alternative:

He would inscribe, "Here lies a man who was both honest and a lawyer." That way, whenever anyone walked by the tombstone and read it, they would be certain to remark: "That's Strange!"


If Restaurants Functioned Like Tech Support
Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Patron: No, it's still there.

Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup. Try eating it with a fork instead.

Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl. What kind of bowl are you using?

Patron: A SOUP bowl!

Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem. How was the bowl set up?

Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer. What has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

[waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]

Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

Patron: This is potato soup.

Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

[waiter leaves.]

Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . $1.00




Newly Issued Alcohol Warnings
The American Board of Health has proposed that warning signs be placed on all alcohol bottles to tip off drinkers about the possible peril of drinking a pint or two of any alcoholic beverage.

1. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to wake up with a breath that could knock a buzzard off a wreaking dead animal that is one hundred yards away.

2. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot.

3. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again until your friends want to assault you

4. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to thay shings like thish.

5. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the boss what you really think of him.

6. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burn on the forehead.

7. WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, handsomer and smarter than some really, really big guy named Psycho Bob.




Three Stages of Man
The 3 stages of man:

He believes in Santa Claus.
He doesn't believe in Santa Claus.
He is Santa Claus.



21st Century Marriage
I stopped at a florist shop after work to pick up roses for my wife.

As the clerk was putting the finishing touches on the bouquet, a young man burst through the door, breathlessly requesting a dozen red roses.

"I'm sorry," the clerk said. "This man just ordered our last bunch."

The desperate customer turned to me and begged, "May I please have those roses?"

"What happened?" I asked. "Did you forget your wedding anniversary?"

"It's even worse than that," he confided. "I crashed my wife's hard drive!"



Modern Technology
I saw a lady at work today putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. I inquired as to what she was doing and she said she was shopping on the internet, and they asked for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM "thingy".

========

I worked with an individual who plugged the power strip back into itself and for his life couldn't figure why the computer would not turn on.

========

1st Person: "Do you know anything about this fax-machine?"

2nd Person: "A little. What's wrong?"

1st Person: "Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a cover-sheet and a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened."

2nd Person: "How did you load the sheet?"

1st Person: "It's a pretty sensitive memo, and I didn't want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it."



Afraid of Santa
A man went to his psychiatrist and said, "What's wrong with me? I'm afraid of Santa."

The psychiatrist said, "You must be Claustrofobic."



Politics Defined
One evening a small boy comes home confused and concerned. His father enquires as to his problem, where upon the boy looks up to his father, and very matter-of-factly asks "What's politics, Dad?"

"Well you see it is like this son; your mother, she is like the government, she controls everything. You have to do what you are told and have little say in anything, so you are the people. I earn the money, so I represent capitalism. Your nanny, she is the worker, and she represents the workers, meanwhile your little brother is the future. Does that make it clearer?"

The boy wanders away and thinks about it. Later that night the boy wakes up to hear his little brother crying. He goes to see what has happened and finds that he has made a mess in his nappy. Upon learning this he goes to tell his mother. When he gets there he finds that his mother is asleep and can't be woken. His father is not there, instead he see through the door in his nanny's room that his Father is in bed with the Nanny. Finally, seeing that nothing can be done, he goes back to sleep.

The next morning at breakfast his father asks if he understood politics.

"I think so Dad - they way I see it, the government is ignoring the people, capitalism is screwing the workers, and the future is in the toilet."




The Power of Woman
There were 11 people - ten men and one woman - hanging onto a rope that came down from a helicopter.

They all decided that one person should get off, because if they didn't, the rope would break and everyone would die.

No one could decide who should go, so finally, the woman gave a really touching speech saying how she would give up her life to save the others, because women were used to giving up things for their husbands and children, giving in to men, and not receiving anything in return.

When she finished speaking, all the men started clapping.



Spelling Information
"Hello, Information? I need the number of the Caseway Insurance Company."

"Would you spell that, please?"

"Certainly. C as in sea. A as in aye. S as in sea. E as in eye. W as in why. A as in are. Y as in you."

"Just a minute, sir. I'll connect you with my supervisor."



[COLOR=blue]Signs You've Eaten Too Much

10. Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

9. Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

8. You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.

7. Right this minute you're laughing up pie on the carpet.

6. You decide to take a little nap and wake up in mid-July.

5. World's fattest man sends you a telegram, warning you to "back off!"

4. CBS tells you to lose weight or else.

3. Getting off your couch requires help from the fire department.

2. Every escalator you step on immediately grinds to a halt.

1. You're sweatin' gravy.



Posted by: Denden Jan 4 2007, 01:02 AM

geez.... it snowed in Jurong yesterday. Anyone of you got this stuuf happening to you or your bike?

user posted image

niceday.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 7 2007, 10:42 PM

http://www.betterloverseminar.com/desi_wife_catches_husband.php


Listen to this . OMG i cant believe this.....

Using radio to catch pp .. totally off guard!!!!! icon-giddy.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 8 2007, 01:30 AM

http://www.filecabi.net/video/gym-boob-prank.html

damn.... this is too MUCH....

Posted by: Silver Jan 8 2007, 10:10 AM

QUOTE (anodise57 @ Jan 7 2007, 10:42 PM)
http://www.betterloverseminar.com/desi_wife_catches_husband.php


Listen to this . OMG i cant believe this.....

Using radio to catch pp .. totally off guard!!!!! icon-giddy.gif

I can't believe the conversation........

icon-giddy.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 16 2007, 02:40 PM

Do u promise that ur gonna be honest
with this survey?
- Yeah yeah yeah get on with it!

Are you single?
- Yes, you happy?

Are you taken?
- If i answered your last question
then why are you asking me this?

Are you crushing?
- I will be when i have the head of
the person who created this survey.

Do you like stuffed animals as
presents?
- Only if they used to be alive.

Do you like chocolates as presents?
- No. In fact i can buy my own
chocolates.

Do you like flowers as presents?
- Why don't you go ahead and ask
something like "what would you like
for presents?" instead of playing this
charade?

Are you in love?
- I don't suppose so.

Have you ever kissed someone?
- Men and women.

Have you ever been kisseed by someone?
- Yes, men and women.

If someone told you that they loved
you, would you be with that person?
- Do i look like some prostitute?

If you had a crush on someone, would
you dare to tell that person how you
really felt?
- Maybe on her wedding day...

If you rejected someone, but now you
have feelings for them, would you tell
them how you felt?
- I don't have that kind of privilige.

What do you feel right nOw?
- Kinda stupid for trying this survey.

Are you willing to love again even if
you've been hurt before?
- Yeah yeah yeah...

What type of bf/gf would you want to
have?
- presentable and not stupid.

Are you serious when it comes to
relationships?
- Depends on how serious i am, duh!

Does answering this make you feel
awkward or sad?
- Finally! Yes!

When was the last time you cried?
- When i attempted a survey that made
me feel like a retard.

Does crying make you feel better?
- No, it just blurs my vision.

Do you want to tell someone that you
love them?
- Can i tell it to more than one
person? Want to stretch my odds.

Last but not least, describe love.
- Human beings shoving their privates
into each other.

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 18 2007, 01:03 AM

user posted image

UK Motorcycle magazine, MCN, report some details of the rumored new Honda VFR1200 motorcycle. The new V5 engine will most probably replace the legendary Honda Blackbird motorcycle. Using the latest technology, the VFR1200 will have traction control, probably more than 190 bhp and should be capable of running 200 miles per hour. Enough power and speed to make you a favorite target for police radars...

The drawing on your left is a drawing by MCN on how the new VFR might look.

As motorcycles go, and with Honda's vast experience, this looks like a winner. But we'll probably have to wait until God knows when to see the motorcycle in the showrooms. In the meantime, the hunt for spy photos is on

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 18 2007, 01:07 AM

user posted image
Honda motorcycle freestyler Cameron 'Sincs' Sinclair has done what no-one has done before. He has managed to do a back-flip, while getting off his motorcycle to do a superman (=holding on to your motorcycle by the saddle).

Even if you're not a freestyle fan, this has got to be an incredible feat !

I just wonder how many crashes and broken bones he has had to suffer before getting this stunt working.




DenDen you should like this a lot!!!!!! slider3.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 18 2007, 01:09 AM



Remember these "things" - {link}. A Honda Goldwing car tow unit (called Retriever), allowing car tow companies to quickly go through heavy traffic and tow away a broken down car.

user posted image

Looks like they got a nice contract in Dubai, United Arab Emirates. The first implementation of such a service in the Middle East, they'll be supplying 4 motorcycle tow units. Already countries such as Sweden (that's where the motorcycle-tow comes from), China and Canada have shown remarkable results.

I would just love to see folks in their expensive BMW or Mercedes car being towed away by a motorcycle....justice !

hot_tomato.gif thumbsup.gif icon-cheerleade.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 18 2007, 01:11 AM

http://www.cyclepedia.com/

Interesting.. came across this while browsing!!! hehehe enjoy


icon-smile.gif not to many bikes though

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 19 2007, 10:47 AM

This is a complain letter that was circulated to me. Its quite true though having personally experienced a few of the below mentioned case. But the worst is that the internal mail being LEAKED!!!

----- Original Message -----
From: Doris Foong
To: undisclosed-recipients:
Sent: Thursday, November 30, 2006 12:33 AM
Subject: FW: Customer Service at Carrefour

Hi Friends

Please read the emails exchanged between myself and Carrefour.

It is very disappointing to know that they give their usual msg to their
customers' feedbacks. What is worse they even forwarded their internal
emails for me to read

This is an excellent example of what not to do.

Please forward this email to your friends for their reading.

Thomas


Wonder if this will make it to the forum page?

----- Original Message -----
From: Thomas Lee
To: Linda Tjendekia
Cc: Suntec Customer Service ; Juliana Yong
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 9:43 PM
Subject: Re: Poor customer service at Carrefour

Hi Linda

Thank you for replying to me with the usual message as suggested by
Hamidah in her email to you

Now I know how much Carrefour value their customers. I shall forward
your email and Hamidah's email to all my contacts so they will know too.

Thank you

From 'Your valued customer'

Dr Lee
----- Original Message -----
From: Linda Tjendekia
To: tvcr123@singnet.com.sg
Cc: Suntec Customer Service ; Juliana Yong
Sent: Wednesday, October 25, 2006 6:25 PM
Subject: Poor customer service at Carrefour
Dear Dr. Lee,

Firstly, let us take this opportunity to thank you for your patronage at
Carrefour Suntec City. We would also like to thank you for your valuable
feedback on our service.

Please accept our sincerest apology for the unpleasant ordeal and the
inconvenience that we have put you through with this inexcusable lapse
of service. We have highlighted this issue to dept management and a
serious briefing has been given to assure that we will continue to
strive to strengthen our customer services to minimize inconveniences
for all our customers.

At Carrefour, it is our goal to render service excellence in the retail
scene and we will continue to strive to deliver the best services to
benefit all our valued customers including your goodself.

Thank you.

Yours truly,

Linda
Management Support Officer
Appliance & Textile Divisions
Carrefour Suntec City
---------------------- Forwarded by Linda Tjendekia/SING/Carrefour on
10/25/2006 05:54 PM ---------------------------
Sent by: Suntec Customer Service
To: Linda Tjendekia/SING/Carrefour@Carrefour-SG
cc:

Subject: Poor customer service at Carrefour

Hi Linda

Reply to customer the usual msg but lupa cc it to you.... sorry lupa
(festive mood) :-) Kindly reply to customer ya.... once again Sorry.

Many Tks
Hamidah
---------------------- Forwarded by Suntec Customer
Service/SING/Carrefour on 10/25/2006 01:35 PM
---------------------------
Please respond to Thomas <tvcr123@singnet.com.sg >
To: suntec_customer_service@carrefour.com
cc:

Subject: Poor customer service at Carrefour

Dear Sir/Mdm

I was at Carrefour-Suntec City - on the night of 15/10/2006 to buy the
following items, a laptop, a fax machine, a DVD recorder and a roadbike.
I left with only the laptop and the DVD recorder. I did not buy the
roadbike because the staff serving me could not tell me the difference
between a $900 bike and a $300 bike except that they were both had
aluminium frame. I did not buy the fax machine because no one bother to
serve me despite standing at the fax machine section for 15 mins. I
approached a staff at the adjacent section selling telephone but all he
told me was the staff selling fax machine is not around and did not
offer any assistance.

On the 21/10/06 I returned to Carrefour - Suntec City - to get a refund
for the laptop as I had discovered that the laptop only supported
Windows XP and could not be used to run my DOS programme. The salesman
who sold me the laptop 6 days earlier was very unhappy and refuses a
refund of the laptop citing various lame excuses. He finally agree to a
refund after I went through Carrefour's refund policy with him. At this
point he make a photocopy of my identity card claiming the company's
need to track my refund history. I was outrage and disappointed at being
treated like a criminal and asked for the duty manager. The duty manager
arrived and agreed that it was not Carrefour's policy to make photocopy
of customer's IC but he was no better than the salesman for he wanted to
take down my particular's instead.

I am very disappointed with the Carrefour's staff, from the lack of
product knowledge to the lack of service and finally to their staff's
attitude of negating on the company's promise of a refund if goods were
returned intact. They should not bother to track my refund history as I
will not be shopping there anymore.

Dr. Lee Boon Kok

Posted by: smokin Jan 20 2007, 11:12 AM

http://youtube.com/watch?v=uS7yBsCKV78
hahaha-1.gif you disturb me i call the POLICE!

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 22 2007, 02:32 PM

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mambo_Jambo

Damn this is good.. confirm written by Singaporean!!! hahahah slider3.gif clap.gif

Posted by: Silver Jan 23 2007, 01:19 AM

QUOTE (smokin @ Jan 20 2007, 11:12 AM)
http://youtube.com/watch?v=uS7yBsCKV78
hahaha-1.gif you disturb me i call the POLICE!

very very funny but kind of mean to try that stunt on the poor guy ... icon-smile.gif

there is a sub-title version.....even more funny

Posted by: Silver Jan 23 2007, 01:40 AM

there is a similar video at Youtube...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GjUX5hB74zs

the best part is when the uncle heard what is the meaning of ISO....


Posted by: anodise57 Jan 23 2007, 11:40 AM

user posted image

Best... is this a 4X4 underneath the drivetrain? slider3.gif icon-giddy.gif thumbup.gif

Posted by: eric28 Jan 24 2007, 12:11 AM

QUOTE (anodise57 @ Jan 23 2007, 03:40 AM)
user posted image

Best... is this a 4X4 underneath the drivetrain? slider3.gif icon-giddy.gif thumbup.gif

damm!! how he/she manage to park there???

is that true??? icon-giddy.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 24 2007, 10:42 AM

Doesnt looked like photoshop one leh... so blur somemore. Hmmm Seriously How he did it

Posted by: Earlybird Jan 24 2007, 01:39 PM

thumbsup.gif2827 thumbsup.gif Lucky number for the week

Posted by: smokin Jan 24 2007, 04:42 PM

QUOTE (Earlybird @ Jan 24 2007, 01:39 PM)
thumbsup.gif2827 thumbsup.gif Lucky number for the week

i have cursed this number will never come out.
coz this is also the same number that one of my unreasonable big boss have on his Marsilly car. he also have parking problem. everytime complain say ppl park his stupid lot...... no one can park his lot and around the driveway except him....TMD.... don't have simple guest relations want to run Hotel.....

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 24 2007, 05:07 PM

Like tat must buy bigger.. Tio liao Get another bike with this no. park in his car lot!!!! hahaha 048.gif

Posted by: takumi18 Jan 24 2007, 10:41 PM

http://www.mycarforum.com/forum/The_worst_job_in_Singapore_P1724649

slider3.gif

Posted by: smokin Jan 24 2007, 11:27 PM

QUOTE (takumi18 @ Jan 24 2007, 10:41 PM)
http://www.mycarforum.com/forum/The_worst_job_in_Singapore_P1724649

slider3.gif

how does one collect sperm from Ah Meng the orangutan?

Ah Meng female leh..... nana-1.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 25 2007, 01:12 AM

user posted image

Lai ah.. Latest fashion from biking scene!!! DuDu da man!


Taken on Last sun.. The 1st time my BB became amphibious vehicle after 2nd link toll. 1st time bike almost half submerge in water! Solid experience!!!! not rust frenly though. Bike became rough after tat!!! icon-giddy.gif

Posted by: takumi18 Jan 25 2007, 01:33 AM

wah... wat did u all do ?!! icon-giddy.gif

Posted by: raz Jan 26 2007, 02:42 PM

A senior couple decided to go shopping one day, and split their efforts by going separate ways. Near the end of the shopping event they decided to get together for lunch. As the woman was on her way to the rendezvous point, she heard a traffic warning on the radio that a car was driving in the wrong direction up ahead.

Knowing that her husband was near the point of the warning, she decided to call him on the cell phone. When he answered, she explained, "I just heard on the news, someone is driving in the wrong direction on the highway!"

And the husband replied, "One? There's hundreds of folks going the wrong way where I am!"



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


Why did the blonde run out of shampoo?

She kept following the instructions: lather, rinse, repeat!


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------



A man and his wife were sitting in the living room discussing a "Living Will".

"Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine
and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug."

His wife got up, unplugged the TV and threw out all the beer.

Posted by: raz Jan 26 2007, 02:44 PM

QUOTE (anodise57 @ Jan 25 2007, 01:12 AM)
user posted image

Lai ah.. Latest fashion from biking scene!!!  DuDu da man!


Taken on Last sun.. The 1st time my BB became amphibious vehicle after 2nd link toll. 1st time bike almost half submerge in water! Solid experience!!!! not rust frenly though. Bike became rough after tat!!!  icon-giddy.gif

can imagine dudu wearing dress...
suddenly feels that he looks like marilyn monroe slider3.gif

Posted by: Silver Jan 26 2007, 02:56 PM

QUOTE (raz @ Jan 26 2007, 02:44 PM)
QUOTE (anodise57 @ Jan 25 2007, 01:12 AM)
user posted image

Lai ah.. Latest fashion from biking scene!!!  DuDu da man!


Taken on Last sun.. The 1st time my BB became amphibious vehicle after 2nd link toll. 1st time bike almost half submerge in water! Solid experience!!!! not rust frenly though. Bike became rough after tat!!!  icon-giddy.gif

can imagine dudu wearing dress...
suddenly feels that he looks like "ma li lian mong lu" slider3.gif

Just need some wind blowing from below rite....

icon-lovestruck.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Jan 26 2007, 04:26 PM

user posted image
The iCarta (by Atech Flash Technology) is a stereo dock for the iPod that comes with a bath tissue holder. Quoting the literature from AFT, "enhance your experience in any room with your favorite music from your iPod". Eyebrow raising looks aside, it has four integrated moisture-free speakers (required for its environment of use), and doubles up as an iPod charger as well.

user posted image
This Pacific Rim Technologies Jukebox Station is arguably the largest iPod accessory we've ever seen! Notice the iPod in the window? This huge unit has red, green and blue LED lighting system, an 80W stereo amplifier, its own woofer, mid-range drivers and tweeters, and comes with an IR remote. Heck, this one meter high, 25kg wood enclosure jukebox even has an FM radio, an S-Video port and RCA video output jacks for viewing photos or videos on a TV.

user posted image
Weird Design!!!


Posted by: Denden Jan 27 2007, 05:52 PM

http://youtube.com/watch?v=mcBV-cXVWFw&mode=related&search=

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V9HLIOnTapE

Posted by: Denden Jan 27 2007, 06:33 PM

Chad Vader - Day Shift Manager (episode 1)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wGR4-SeuJ0

And episode 2
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NPVlljVWqBg&mode=related&search=

Here's 3
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gh8u6nTx8wY&mode=related&search=

4
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ogIqayRDr4w&mode=related&search=

and 5 (Holiday Special)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VAkOfoI3SpE&mode=related&search=

Posted by: saintdudu Jan 29 2007, 12:04 PM

This guy goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I ache all over. Everywhere I touch it hurts."
The doctor says, "OK. Touch your elbow."

The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. The doctor, surprised, says "Touch your head."

The guy touches his head and jumps in agony. The doctor asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens. Everywhere the guy touches he hurts like hell. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. and tells the guy to come back in two days.

Two days later the guy comes back and the doctor says "We've found your problem."

"Oh yeah? What is it?"

"You've broken your finger!"

Posted by: saintdudu Jan 29 2007, 12:11 PM

Joke 1

A handsome young man and a beautiful girl met and it was love at first sight. They immediately got married and went on their honeymoon. On their wedding night, the bride went into the bathroom to freshen up.
Unfortunately, she had a case of bad breath so severe she had to take a powerful drug to control it. She was about to take the drug when she decided it would be best to let her husband in on her secret since they would be spending the rest of their lives together.

So she returned to bed without taking the drug.

Her husband then went into the bathroom to freshen up. He also had a problem with foot odor so offensive it required a special preparation to keep it under control. He was about to apply the preparation when he decided it would be better to let his wife know about his problem because she would find out about it sooner or later anyway.

He skipped applying the preparation, returned to bed, grabbed his wife and gave her a big kiss.

She said, "Honey, there's something I have to tell you."

"OK," he said, "but I already know what it is ... you ate my socks."



Joke 2

A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die."

"Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, you should satisfy his every whim sexually several times a week."

"If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."

On the way home, the husband asked his wife. "What did the doctor say?"

"You're going to die," she replied.




Posted by: anodise57 Feb 9 2007, 03:30 PM

Singaporean Lagi Hitech!


After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.


So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug to 200 meters and headlines in the US papers read: "US scientists have found traces of 2000-year-old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephones 1000 years earlier than the Russians."



One week later, the Singapore newspapers reported the following : "After digging as deep as 500 meters, Singaporean scientists have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 5000 years ago, their ancestors were already using wireless technology."

Posted by: anodise57 Feb 20 2007, 03:56 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwLrgxtALWs

Mind u guys... if u pay attention ..... U could find a POSB card appear in the show... THE LEAD character is a Sillyporen!!!!! OMG..... thumbsup.gif

Posted by: Denden Feb 22 2007, 12:11 AM

QUOTE (anodise57 @ Feb 20 2007, 03:56 AM)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwLrgxtALWs

Mind u guys... if u pay attention ..... U could find a POSB card appear in the show... THE LEAD character is a Sillyporen!!!!! OMG..... thumbsup.gif

Funny meh?

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 7 2007, 05:24 PM

user posted image

Damn.. WTF!!!!!

with Pillion SOmemore!!!

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 06:30 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1062844


This is good !!! thumbsup.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 06:34 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1088042

Farny slider3.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 06:39 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1073285

Alan, when does SIA have such Xecutive Class Suite ah? 067.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 06:43 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1041135

A bit offtopic!!!! hhahahaha happy23.gif

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 06:48 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1073328
Don believe this

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 06:50 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1074492

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 06:52 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1070473

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 07:08 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1074554

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 13 2007, 07:10 PM

http://www.gofish.com/player.gfp?gfid=30-1051956

Posted by: SiaoSter Mar 18 2007, 01:37 PM

GOOD FOR A LAUGH!!!!


Arthur Davidson, the inventor of the Harley-Davidson
motorcycle, died and went to heaven.
At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since you've been
such a good man and your motorcycles
have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out
with anyone you want in Heaven
." Arthur thought about it for a minute, then said, "I
want to hang out with God."
St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room and introduced
him to God.
God recognized Arthur and commented, "Okay, so you were
the one who invented the Harley Davidson motorcycle?"
Arthur said, "Yep, that's me."
God said, "Well, what's the big deal in inventing
something that's pretty unstable,
makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?"
Arthur was apparently embarrassed, but finally he said,
"Excuse me, but aren't You the inventor of woman?"
God said, "Yes."
"Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you
have some major design flaws in your invention:
1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end
protrusions;
2. It chatters constantly at high speeds;
3. Most of the rear ends are too soft and wobble too
much;
4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust;
5. And the maintenance costs are enormous!"
"Hmmmmm, you have some good points there," replied God,
"hold on."
God went to His Celestial super computer, typed in a few
words and waited for the results.
The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,"
God said to Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more
men are riding my invention than yours."

Posted by: SiaoSter Mar 18 2007, 01:42 PM

> Compliments
>
> The 'nice' things to say about our bosses always have
> a hidden meaning.
>
>
> Dear MD,
>
> While working with my manager, I have always found him
>
> working hard and sincerely at his table without idling or
>
> gossiping with colleagues in the office. He seldom
>
> wastes his time on useless things. Given a job, he always
>
> finishes the given assignment in time. He will always be
>
> deeply engrossed in his official work, and can never be
>
> found chit-chatting in the canteen. He has absolutely no
>
> vanity in spite of his high accomplishment and profound
>
> knowledge of his field. I think he can easily be
>
> classed as outstanding, and should on no account be
>
> dispensed with. I strongly feel that my manager should be
>
> pushed to accept promotion,and a proposal to administration be
>
> sent out as soon as possible.
>
> Sd/-
>
>
> PS: MY MANAGER WAS PRESENT WHEN I WAS WRITING THE REPORT TO
> YOU TODAY.
> KINDLY READ ONLY THE ALTERNATE LINES 1,3,5... (odd lines)
> FOR MY TRUE ASSESSMENT.

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 19 2007, 11:16 AM

Latest Trend in MOtorshow!!!!!

The Bunny Show"GALS"










user posted image

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 21 2007, 12:37 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6M8fnjPLx6k

This is good!!!

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 21 2007, 03:46 PM

Different Kinds of motorcycle Helmets thumbsup.gif


user posted image

user posted image

user posted image

user posted image

user posted image

user posted image

user posted image

Posted by: anodise57 Mar 21 2007, 04:14 PM

"AGE OF A WOMAN"

Between the ages of 15 - 20
A woman is like Sabah. She is half discovered, half wild.

Between the ages of 20 - 30
A woman is like Putrajaya, fully discovered and scientifically perfect.

Between the ages of 30 - 35
She is like Kelantan, very hot, wise and beautiful.

Between the ages of 35 - 40
A woman is like Johore. She is half destroyed but still desirable.

Between the ages of 40 - 50
She is like Kuala Lumpur, old but still got hope.

Between the ages of 50 - 60
She is like Sarawak, very wide, very quiet but nobody goes there.

Between the ages of 60 - 70
A woman is like Malacca, with a glorious past but no future.

Posted by: Denden Mar 22 2007, 10:32 PM

user posted image

nope, I didn't come up with that caption.

Posted by: bornfree Mar 26 2007, 03:20 PM

Check out the http://travel.webshots.com/video/3087264420050397309bLLcCQ of the local boys diving in Gunung Belumut waterfall. (Turn on your speakers icon-smile.gif )

Posted by: Denden Mar 27 2007, 10:28 PM

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry. That
must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.
David Bissonette

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let
him keep her.

Sacha Guitry

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just
can't face each other, but still they stay together.

Hemant Joshi

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you
get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

Dumas

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is,
"What does a woman want?

Sigmund Freud

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

Anonymous

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go
to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft
music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

Henny Youngman

"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years."

Sam Kinison

"There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than
electronic banking. It's called marriage."

James Holt McGavran

"I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the
second one didn't."

Patrick Murray

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming

1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it,

2. Whenever you're right, shut up.

Nash

The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it
once...

Anonymous

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.

Henny Youngman

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

Rodney Dangerfield

A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong.

Milton Berle

Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy.

Anonymous

A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: "Wife wanted". Next day he
received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."

Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"

Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." drunk.gif

Posted by: Denden Mar 29 2007, 05:10 PM

http://youtube.com/watch?v=nR2ygFn-yR8

Lane splitting at it's best.

Posted by: bornfree Mar 30 2007, 12:20 AM

http://s112.photobucket.com/albums/n189/bornfree23/?action=view¤t=nopork.flv

Posted by: takumi18 Apr 22 2007, 05:10 AM

Check this out...

http://www.livevideo.com/video/F0EF205BFE734C92ADFBAF0AA3E72D3A/bikers-like-to-wave.aspx

haha.. i like his horn... icon-touguecheeky.gif

Posted by: Denden Apr 23 2007, 08:30 AM

The Power Of Dreams

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7QEU4GDrUk&mode=related&search=

Posted by: juz_A_gal Apr 24 2007, 08:41 AM

A newly-joined trainee engineer asks his boss

"What is the meaning of appraisal?"

Boss : " Do you know the meaning of resignation?"

Trainee : " Yes, I do. "

Boss : " So let me make you understand what an appraisal is by comparing
it with resignation. "



Appraisal vs Resignation

In an appraisal meeting they will speak only about your weakness, errors
and failures.

In a resignation meeting they will speak only about your strengths, past
achievements and success.


During an appraisal you may need to cry and beg for even a 10% pay hike.

In a resignation meeting you can easily demand (or get more without
asking) more than 50-60% pay-hike!


During an appraisal, they will deny promotion saying that you did not
meet the expectation, you don't have leadership qualities, and that you
had several drawbacks in reaching objective/goal.

During resignation, they'll say you are the core member of the team;
that you are the vision of the company, and so " How can you go ? "; you
have to take the project on your shoulders and lead your juniors to
success.


There is a 90% chance of not getting any significant incentives after
appraisal.

There is a 90% chance of getting an immediate pay-hike after you put in
your resignation.


Trainee : " Yes, boss, good enough. Now I know what to do. When you are
about to do my appraisal, I will resign.

Posted by: saintdudu Apr 25 2007, 10:54 AM

Two Dogs

A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was
named Rolex and one was named Timex.

Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"

"Hellooo," answered the blonde. "They're watch dogs!"



Senior Citizen Driving


As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.

Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just
heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the PIE. Please
be careful!"

"Well," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"

Pope Vs Ah Pek


About a century or two ago, the Pope decided that all the Chinese had to leave Italy. Naturally there was a big uproar from the Chinese >community. So the Pope made a deal. He would have a religious debate with a member of the Chinese community. If the Chinese win, they could stay. If the Pope wins, the Chinese >would leave. The Chinese realized that they had no other choice. So they picked a middle-aged man named Ah Peh to represent them. Ah Peh asked for one condition to be added to the debate. "To make it more interesting", he said, "Neither side would be allowed to talk". The Pope agreed. The day of the great debate came. Ah Peh and the Pope sat opposite each other for a full minute. Then the Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. Ah Peh looked back at him and raised one finger. The Pope waved his fingers in a circle around his head. Ah Peh pointed to the ground at where he sat. The Pope pulled out a loaf and a glass of wine. Ah Peh pull out an apple. The Pope stood up and said: "I give up. This man is too good. The >Chinese can stay." An hour later, the cardinals were all around The Pope asking him what had happened. The Pope said, "First I held up three fingers to represent the holy trinity.He responded by holding up one finger to remind me that there was still one God common to both our religions." "Then I waved my finger around me to show him that God was all around us." He responded by pointing to the ground and showing that God was also right here with us." "I pulled out the wine and loaf to show that God absolves all sin. He showed me an apple to remind us of the original sin. He had an answer for everything. What could I do?" Meanwhile, the Chinese community had crowded around Ah Peh. "What happened?" they asked. "Well," said Ah Peh, "First he indicated to me that all Chinese had 3 days to get out of here. I replied to him f*#k off and not one of us is leaving." "Then he pointed that this whole city would be cleared of Chinese. I showed him that we are staying right here." "Yes, and then???" asked the crowd. "I don't know", said Ah Peh, "He took out his lunch, and I took out mine!!!"

Strange Happenings In A Hospital

There was this case in this hospital's Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed on Friday mornings around 9am regardless of their age, gender, medical history or medical
condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had to do with the supernatural: Why did death occur at that same bed around the same time every Friday?

So the doctors decided to go down to that particular ward to investigate the cause of the deaths.

Come Friday morning, everyone at the hospital ward nervously waited for the terrible phenomenon to occur again. The new (unknowing) patient laid there.

Some doctors held wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil...and they waited.

8am, the patient was still alive...

8.30am...still breathing...

Just before the 'cursed' time, the door to the ward swung open...



Then Ah Soh, the part-time Friday cleaner, comes in and unplugs the life support system so that she can use the vacuum cleaner!

Posted by: anodise57 May 2 2007, 07:55 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dMH0bHeiRNg

These will bring back memories!!!!!!

Young kids will not really appreciate that much... bounce.gif

Posted by: SiaoSter May 2 2007, 06:00 PM

Ah Seng wants to make love with Ah Lian but he is afraid that Ah Lian will get pregnant, so he approaches his friend Ah Beng for advice.
Ah Beng said "Aiya, very easy one lah. Nah, take this packet of condoms and follow the instructions, nothing will happen one." So Ah Seng
takes the condom and at night makes love with Ah Lian. Two months later, Ah Seng comes to look for Ah Beng and tells him that Ah Lian is
pregnant. "Cannot be what, did you follow the instructions or not?" asks Ah Beng. "Na -bei! Got lah. The box says"Stretch the condom
over organ before intercourse, I got no organ, so I stretch it over my piano loh."


=======================================================


Ah Beng took part in the Si ngapore Manhunt Competition. During the Q&A segment, the host asks,

"Name a drink that begins with the letter 'G'."

The crowd shouts, "Gin! Gin!"

Others exclaim, "No it's Grape Juice!"

Another smart aleck yells, "Alamak, Gatorade!"

Host: "Quiet please."

Ah Beng laughs hysterically like a hyena before replying, "C'mon man, you think I need your help? I

got more original answer: Guni!"(cow milk in Hokkien).


=======================================================


In an English class:

Teacher: "Class, do you know the meaning of parents?"

Ah Beng: "Yes, teacher, it means father and mother."

Teacher: "Good. Can you give me an example?"

Ah Beng: "Sure. Cowboy's parents mean cowboy's father and mother. Also can say

Cowboy's father is Cow Pay and Cowboy's mother is Cow Boo. So together we say Cow Pay Cow Boo (KPKB)."

Teacher fainted...............



=======================================================



Ah Beng with his two red ears went to his doctor. The

doctor asked him what happened to his ears and he answered,

" I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring loh but instead of picking up the phone,

I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear. So kena loh!" "Oh dear !"

the doctor exclaimed in disbelief. "But.what happen to the other ear?"

"Aiyah! That stoooopid dumbo called back!"


=======================================================



Ah Beng and Ah Seng rent a boat and fish in a lake everyday.

One day, they caught 30 fishes.

Ah Beng said to Ah Seng," Mark this spot so that we can come back here again tomorrow."

The next day, when they were driving to rent the boat,

Ah Beng asked Ah Seng," Did you mark that spot?

" Ah Seng replied," Yeah, I put a big X on the bottom of the boat,"

Ah Beng said," You stupid fool! What if we don't get that same boat today !?!?"



=======================================================



Ah Beng and Ah Seng exited and locked the car in a

hurry, forgetting to remove the key which was in the

ignition. Realizing the mistake, Ah Beng asked," Why

don't we get a coat hanger to open it?"

"No," said Ah Seng. "People will think we're too dumb

to use a coat hanger."

Then Ah Beng suggested," What if we use a pocket knife

to cut the rubber, then stuck a finger in and pull up

the lock?"

"No, that won't work," answered Ah Seng." People might

think we're trying to break in."

The " kan cheong" Ah Beng shouted," We better think of

something fast. It's staring to rain and the sunroof

is open!!!"



=======================================================



Once Ah Beng , Ah Seng and Ah Lian went for dinner at

the Compass Rose at the top of the Westin Stamford .

After dinner, they went to the lift scanned the

buttons and couldn't find the button for the first

floor. Ah Beng suggested taking the stairs but Ah Lian

decided to press the lift button "G". They found

themselves on the first ground and Ah Beng remarked,

"Wah, you so smart, ah. How did you know this was

ground floor?" Ah Lian replied ," Aiyah so simple you

also dunno! G: stands for gero loh!"



=======================================================



One evening, Ah Beng and Ah Lian went to a lounge and

requested the DJ to play the song "Ah Cheng Buey Lo

Ti" (Ah Cheng buys bread). The DJ told them they only

played English songs and asked them to request another

song. They were upset and complained to the manager

that the DJ was insulting them. After many hours of

calming them down, the manager found out they were

actually requesting the Righteous Brother s
song,

"Unchained Melody".



=======================================================



Ah Beng and Ah Seng went to a hawker centre. Ah Seng

noticed the hygiene grades issued by the Ministry of

Health pasted at each stall and asked Ah Beng, "Eh,

the 'A', 'B', 'C' and 'D' stand for what ah?" Ah Beng

snorted and said, "Aiyah, this sort of thing you also

dunno! 'D' stand for 'delicious', 'C' stand for 'can

eat', 'B' stand for 'buay sai' (cannot) and 'A' stand

for
'Alamak'!"



=======================================================



Long time ago, a rich Si ngapore tycoon wanted to know

how happy a man could be if he was given one wish. He

paid three people to test out his experiment.
The

rules were:

1. Each person could only have one wish.

2. They will be left on a deserted island for 30 years.

3. Food, but not liquor would be provided.

The first contestant, Billy Clinton (USA) asked for 30

prettiest PLAYBOY centerfolds: "So I
can make the most

beautiful babies in the world."

The second contestant, Jon Major (UK) said, "I want 30 years' supply of

booze."

The last contestant, Ah Beng ( Si ngapore ) said, "I want

30 years' supply of Saa-lim ( Salem ) cigarettes so I

can
smoke until I song-song."

30 years later, the three contestants came back for a

press conference. Billy had with him 200 children and

30 estranged women. He remarked, "It has been a long

sexual experience for me and was wondering whether

anyone care to buy a child. I will even throw in the

mother for free!" Jon, hanging on to a bottle of beer,

was suffering from a hangover but he managed to utter

these words. "God save the Beer! The Queen can drink

seawater." The last contestant, Ah Beng, hugging onto

cartons of Salem shouted, "Ni na

beh! Buay kee gia lighter!!!" (@#$*! Forgot to bring
lighter!)



=======================================================



Last night, an incident took place at Boat Quay. What

happened was some idiot was trying to show off and

declared that he could swim across the Si
ngapore

River. He jumped in and started swimming. But before

he could reach the halfway mark, he started to panic

and started to shout for help. Being typical

Singaporeans, a crowd started to gather to watch and

yet no attempt was made by anybody to save that
poor

chap. Suddenly there was a splash and the crowd turned

to see a guy doing what seemed like a desperate

attempt to reach the drowning victim. It was clear

that this hero couldn't swim! Luckily a tongkang

filled with tourists was passing by and the operator

saw the incident and picked both men from the water.

The crowd cheered! Back on shore, the crowd cheered

again as the hero stepped off the tongkang. "Steady

lah!" and "Awright, man!" were among any

congratulations shouted. Ah Beng looked angry and

shouted "Ka ni na! Si ang too wa loh chui?" (*%#@! Who

pushed me into the water?")



=======================================================



Ah Beng joined a quiz show and was asked to a name

three fruits whose names begin with "A". Ah Beng

immediately said "Apple.Apricot." then he was stumped.

After a while, he finally shouted triumphantly, "Ang Mor Tan!"



=======================================================



Ah Beng ordered a pizza and the waitress asked if he

should cut it in six or twelve pieces.

" Si x, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."



=======================================================



How do you make Ah Beng laugh on Saturday?

Tell him
a joke on Wednesday.



=======================================================



"Oh, look at the dead bird."

Ah Beng looked skyward and said, "Where, where got?"



=======================================================



Why did Ah Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?

Because below 18 was not allowed.

The End.

Posted by: Denden May 3 2007, 10:59 AM

Got this in my e-mail... genius students!!!

IPB Image
IPB Image
IPB Image
IPB Image
IPB Image
IPB Image
IPB Image
IPB Image
IPB Image

Posted by: Silver May 10 2007, 02:08 PM

I like the last part......... bounce.gif

http://sg.video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=490743


Posted by: anodise57 Jun 3 2007, 01:33 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQJdzLwUEps

He is back....... Jus like Rocky!!!! Full of violent!!!! OMG drunk.gif

Posted by: AC_Devil64 Jun 29 2007, 12:43 AM

Hey Guys & Gals....!!
Have a good laugh at it...but dont fall off ur chair!!!! laugh.gif icon-thumbsup.gif

http://www.glumbert.com/media/japtetris

Posted by: zfuyuan Jun 29 2007, 01:57 PM

http://sg.video.yahoo.com/video/play?vid=532053&cache=1 icon-smile.gif

Posted by: juz_A_gal Jul 3 2007, 08:39 AM

Mental Health Screening

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the director how he
determined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.

"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup, and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

"No." said the Director. "A normal person would pull the plug.
Do you want a bed near the window?"

Posted by: anodise57 Jul 6 2007, 11:44 AM

http://quizfarm.com/run.php/Quiz?quiz_id=97960







IPB Image

Posted by: Denden Jul 7 2007, 06:05 PM

QUOTE(anodise57 @ Jul 6 2007, 11:44 AM) *

http://quizfarm.com/run.php/Quiz?quiz_id=97960
IPB Image

Which Transformers character Are You?

I am Galvatron!!! Galvatron ------96%
Starscream ------88%
Hotrod ------81%
'You are Galvatron! You despise failure and even more so personal betrayal. Having a screw loose can make you spontaneous and reckless. Often these gambles pay off. You have a seriously dark side that terrifies others, be it friend or foe. You are the man!! In an evil sort of way. '

Wooh...sounds very much like me, 'in a evil sort of way'...wahahahhaaa icon-hungry.gif
drunk.gif

Posted by: Pplater Jul 9 2007, 11:58 PM

Which Transformers character Are You?
You scored as a Bumblebee
Your match is Bumblebee! People around you appreciate your positive outlook and feel that they can rely on you. Putting others first is important to you, often at your own sacrifice. Your determination is something to be proud of.

Bumblebee

88%
Hotrod

81%

Hee... I kinda like the bumblebee... Very laid back and relac fella...

Posted by: tingchiyen Jul 10 2007, 02:41 PM

You scored as a Kup
You are Kup! Your knowledge has been gained through tough experience. As such you are good at giving advice and are well liked by many. Anyone for a war story?
Galvatron

75%
Bumblebee

75%
Kup

75%
Starscream

Posted by: anodise57 Jul 10 2007, 06:06 PM

Wa seh.... does this mean our lawyer here are evil too??? happy23.gif

Posted by: tingchiyen Jul 10 2007, 06:17 PM

Kup is an autobot lah... i'm a goooood guy....

Posted by: Maverick77 Jul 14 2007, 02:55 AM

You scored as a Bumblebee
Your match is Bumblebee! People around you appreciate your positive outlook and feel that they can rely on you. Putting others first is important to you, often at your own sacrifice. Your determination is something to be proud of.

Optimus Prime

75%
Bumblebee

75%
Kup

69%

I took the test twice and both times it gives me the same results... Proves that it's quite accurate in describing my character... :P


Posted by: HokAgE Jul 25 2007, 02:31 AM

Check this out guys..Wanna play this game?haha..




Attached File(s)
Attached File  JAPANESE_GAME.wmv ( 3.86mb ) Number of downloads: 79

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